mipagina.univision.com/marybarr27

I filed last Friday and my wife was served today. I have three little kids and if anyone can offer me some advise for how to best handle this with kids I would be grateful. Maybe you have an experience that could be good or bad that you can share with me. Maybe you wish you could have done something differently if you had to do it again. I am willing to listen, I want to learn and I love my kids.

George

Isn't love great? To all those who are in this wedding contest, im sure you all understand where im coming from. When you were single, looking at other couples, you think to yourself, "I want that some day". But now that you're in love, you feel for those who have'nt found that one yet. To be with someone you love so much, brings a whole new meaning to love. It makes you wonder how you ever went through life all those years, before having this one true love in your life.

When I met Mike, it was like my life was starting to really make sense. Other then my oldest son, I never understood my meaning in life. I didn't know where my life was taking me. I always thought, I'd be that old lady, with 20 cats, and one son, growing old alone. I came to really know myself. Mike brought another side of me, that I never knew. I see how Mike and I have grown. How we bring out the good in both of us. I look at him, and I pray and beg God to never let me lose this wonderful, special person in my life. I always say a pray to myself each morning he leaves for work, that nothing bad happens to him while hes out on the road. I have nightmares of getting that call, saying hes been in a accident, and he is dead. And I wake up crying, shaking. Holding his hand, kissing it. Thanking God that it was only dream.

Mike has changed my life in so many ways. Other then the fact that we have a wonder son together. He has brought out the good in me. He has brought out the good in my oldest son. He has me waking up every morning, thanking God for another day with my him, and my wonderful boys. I go to sleep at night, praying for many more years to come. I

I joke with Mike how when we grow old, we'll be that old couple in Dennys, eating breakfast at 6am, sipping our coffee, and reading the paper and paying our senior discount prices for our food. And taking long walks, in our jogging suits. lol. I see Mike and I being that old couple, who can just sit in the living room; me cutting out coupons and him watching either the news, or a game on tv. And neither one of us have to say a word, just a glance at one another, and we can read eachothers thoughts. And grin at eachother. We'd take out our teeth at night, and put them in our matching mugs, next to eachothers in the bathroom...and grin teethless and kiss eachother, teethless  good night, each night. lol. He'd fart, and I'd tell him "Oh honey, that one smells". LOL.  I look at Mike and I see our future. I see it all. I have NEVER felt this way for anyone EVER!

I just thought I'd share that thought with everyone..because when you love someone, you look at life a whole different way. You see your future with that person.

Our soon to be strawberry filled butter cream

wedding cake!! VOTE FOR US!!!

 

Saludos a todos espero conoser mucha gente de todo el mundo

 

There are few places more relaxing than a beach. It conjures up childhood memories and a simple, casual, but elegant lifestyle.

Let's get lost in their beauty.

I'm having a sale on my EBAY Store!  25% off everything (except auctions), so this includes large, small and ACEO-size prints and cameos!  This also includes a limited edition of "Gothic Lament"!  Both in 4 x 6" and the recently released, 8.5 x 11" size.  The larger size is an editions of 50 and is on Epson Fine Art Velvet paper, which is very similar to hotpress watercolor paper.  They're really beautiful!  Visit My Store!

Also for auction on ebay is a special, one-of-a-kind, matted, hand-embellished print of "Lady Monarch"!  It's also on the Epson Velvet paper.  It was printed to test out the paper, and I decided to embellish it and sell it.  There won't be another like it. Check that out HERE

And my newest painting, "Eternal Twilight," is still for auction HERE

Over time you will find that I have a special place in my heart for our troops - especially since one of them brought me to this amazing country many many moons ago ;)

Therefore I try my best to help and adopt one or two soldiers through out the year and give as much as I can, or simply by spreading the word because ......

THERE ARE MORE HEROES NEEDING HELP THAN ANGELS AVAILABLE AND OUR HEROES LOVE TO BE ADOPTED!

and it is wonderful when you are able to help with their morale ...

So.... MAYBE YOU TOO CAN ADOPT ANOTHER HERO???

Or just spread the word at your Local Church, School, Hospitals, Scouts...

Many of our friends, sons & daughters are in harms way and could use some support from home.

So if you like to become a "Soldiers angel" just go to:

http://soldiersangels.org

and click adopt a soldier. or check out all the other things that you can do to make a difference

Thank you for helping!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND OUR TROOPS

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

~Henry Van ****

quizás no fué el tiempo ni fué el momento
no tiene lógica el argumento
a veces la vida es así
tan cerca estuvimos alma con alma
tu piel con mi piel quemó toda la calma
aún no pudimos concebir
que el hecho de no actuar y no abrazar lo que era nuestro
fué el error que viviré para siempre

cómo sería
que hubiera sido de mí
si ese día no te hubiera dejado partir
cómo sería
besar tus labios cada amanecer
poder perderme cada noche en tu querer
cómo sería

por culpa del miedo o del abandono
sinceramente no sabía como
apostar un beso contra la eternidad
quizás soy la culpable de este destino
y sé que hoy no haría lo mismo
no te dejaría escapar
el hecho de no actuar y no abrazar lo que era nuestro
fué el error que viviré para siempre

cómo sería
que hubiera sido de mí
si ese día no te hubiera dejado partir
cómo sería
besar tus labios cada amanecer
poder perderme cada noche en tu querer
cómo seria

soñar sin sentir dudas
cómo sería
respirar sin desesperación
cómo sería
jamás preguntar quizás
cómo sería. . .

Subrrayame las partes que te sentis reconcida en este tema y mandamelo jajajaj besos

I survived my little pity party from earlier today.  

I guess a little background info... when I was first starting out campaigning for Barack, I told everyone that I was going to make it to the convention, that I was going to be a delegate, that this was the time, I had an epiphany that I was going to be IN that DNC! To me the DNC was here, close enough for me to travel to, for me to be in it.  Plain and simple, this wasn't a mistake me living here at this time, being political and him coming here.  I believed it was my chance to get my foot in the door, or at least have my tiny voice heard even a little.  it didn't work out the way I saw it in my vision...

I got my husband to come caucus with me way back in Feb., which was great for Barack, but horrible for our 2 young kids and for my husband and I who were just coming back together after a short split, the caucus was poorly thought through and they made it so stressful for people with small children b/c of that.  When it came time for them to ask for volunteer delegates I wasn't allowed to stay.  He pretty much told me that if I stayed I would have to find my way back home, and I was 20 miles from home.  He just couldn't take it anymore, the crying kids and the sideways glances from some people.  It sucked.  It hurt, I knew it was at that moment that I was given an opportunity to make a positive impact on a large scale, and I saw it get shut out by a tyrannical control freak... who I loved, OUCH! even worse!  I knew then I would have to make up for that lost delegate spot and I tried!  I went to the meet and greets, I drove to the town hall meetings, I called people, I put up signs and I called and called again and again to check and see if there was anything I could do to be part of this process.  It just didn't matter in the end.  Well, as I've been reminded of, it DID matter, but not in the way I had hoped.  no tickets materialized like I had seen them do BEFORE the caucus...

 

So today as I was getting online and reading how some of my friends were going and some of them joked about how EASY it was to get tickets, well, I kinda lost it for the day.  All those feelings I had the night my husband refused to wait those extra 30 minutes came rushing back in.  Resentment for being married to a person that limits my actions because he's afraid to move.  Anger towards those that flaunted something I wanted and worked for, but failed to achieve.  Pity for myself that I didn't have more strength to tell my husband to... (what foul word shall I try and post this time?)  Distrust for all of the people I had seen this week who couldn't look me in the eye and simply smile. HELLO, I'm walking around with a volunteer shirt on, I'm on your side, please smile at me and make me feel like I matter!  It all came to a head today and I couldn't figure out what to do with it.  So I just let it out with anger and a touch of " I don't want to do this anymore"  It felt good for a little bit.  I'm still dealing with the angry beast that lives in my chest and scratches every once in a while to remind me of my fury, but I'm lucky enough that I see the big picture and that keeps me breathing.  For me the big picture ISN'T about making my way into a magazine with my arm around some celebrity, it isn't about being able to say I was there.  it's about saying what I've done and what I'm doing to really make this change HAPPEN. Actions will always speak louder than words, that at least is on my side.  So what am I doing?

I stopped whining just long enough today to map out what I want to start writing about and some solutions I think could work.  I saw Barack's speech tonight, no matter how pissed off  I was at EVERYONE else ;), I had to watch him.  I had to feel like he was worth this pain, this pity party.  He was.  He definitely was.

Last week I had another epiphany and this time I was meeting him, not just watching him speak with 84,000 other people.  Enough of my epiphanies have come true in my life to know it could happen, but only if I stay true to myself and never give up and that's what I plan on doing.  Stay focused, stay true to my beliefs, stay honest and open, stay tuned in to life's quiet whispers from the sidelines...

When life closes a door, break out of the window!!!

THANKS JEN, my new found Blue Goose friend.  You saw through my complaints and knew I needed some fresh guidance, I'm going to go check out your suggestion right now!  PEACE!

 

okay so today was a good day at school for me!!! I actually did a good hair cut today and i did a nice style on it!! im really excited cuz it all came out good. It was a 45 degree angle cut and that means it was shorter on the bottom and longer on top. I was just happy that i didn't butcher it. So then. I came home and ate dinner and had to call my aunt because my teacher gave us the assignment of doing our first haircut on an actual person!!  I called my cousin and asked if I could cut her hair and she said yes so I was sooo happy cuz that means she's got long enough hair that if i had messed up I would be able to fix it! So yeah. I did a really good job though. I only cut off a little bit about two inches. But. she had thick hair so I wasn't used to cutting thick hair. haha. It all came out okay she really really liked the hair cut! She said that her friend had ruined her hair before my cutting it herself and it was all messed up with odd length layers here and there. So she was really happy when I cut it because I evened it all out for her and it looked really nice. 

 

Brad and I didn't work today. I was really really happy because he came to school to surprise me after I got out of class!! That was really nice. I love him so much! he always tries to do little things like that! So it was nice to walk out of class and see him. I'm really glad that I don't work tomorrow either. I don't work now until saturday! YAY! I am learning how to do a pedicure and a manicure tomorrow. So that will be nice to know how to do all those things together. Then, brad and i will go out for our date night. Prob. a movie and then just hanging out together. I love seeing and spending time with him because when we spend time together its like the whole world melts away!

Well, I am going to get going now. Im kind of tired now. 

WATCH OUR VIDEO! AND VOTE FOR US!!!

We hope to make finalists!

 

How well DO you know your fiancé? Be honest!!!.....

 

His/her name?

Breanna

What would he/she be watching on T.V.?

TV? She’d be watching a DVD, probably Sex and the City or some romantic comedy.

You're out to eat. what kind of dressing do they get on their salad.
Italian because she knows I love Rocky.

What's one food this person doesn't like?
Spam. I love the stuff, it’s her loss.

You go out to the bar. He/she orders......
She hates alcohol but I would ask for a medori sour… is that how you spell the damn thing?

Where did he/she go to high school?
Hemet, Azusa, San Jacinto

What size shoe do they wear?
About a 5

If this person were to collect anything, it would be......
Disney DVDs

Favorite car?
Some Caddi she says, “oh, that’s mine” every time we see it

This person could eat __________ everyday.
Pasta

Favorite cereal?
She eats cereal?

This person wouldn't be caught dead wearing....
White pants

Favorite sports team?
Any team with good cheerleaders

 What is something you do that he/she wishes you didn't?
Think about playing World of Warcraft

How many states has this person lived in?
1

You bake them a cake for their birthday....What kind do they want?
Dark Chocolate

Did he/she play sports in high school?
Cheerleading


This person could spend hours......
Playing with makeup, playing with her son, fighting crime with me

 

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JOIN THE TEAM!!!

JUST TYPE IN KEYWORD "RACE" AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE!!!

IF YOU CAN'T BE THERE YOU CAN STILL HELP!!

EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS!!

    Just stepped out on the porch to have a smoke. And I'm standing there thinking and realize what tomorrow is. Today, whatever. Friday, August 29th. Next Friday will be September 5th. That day's never great for me, but it just happened to hit me while I was standing on the porch. Staring into the darkness, a lone tear started to form in my right eye. Then in my left. Before I knew it, more began flowing.

    Now, I'm not a cryer, folks. A tear from me is quite a feat...but every time I think about dad, it's all that happens. September 5, 2004. In one week, it will be four years, and although I know that each day passes, and I look at the date and see each month and year gradually flying by, it never feels any different. I thought that as time went on, it would get easier, but every day hits me like a ton of bricks. Good days and bad days, good days and bad days, it's supposed to keep in that constant rotation...but as is my standard, I break away from the norm. I do what I can to make every day a good day, but each day passes, and especially on the days that I talk to mom, it makes me realize that I can't talk to dad, which in turn breaks me down.

    I don't ask for sympathy, nor do I ask for compassion. That's just not me. I've lived so much of my life with people offering one or the other, but never offering any help for what issue I was facing, save for my family, so for me, sympathy and compassion are just kind words that are nice to hear, but never really do much to take the pain away.

    I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just wanted to say something about how much I miss dad. For so long, I took my parents for granted, but especially dad, due to the fact that I was so close to him.

    And so, on September 5th, probably around 6AM, which is my norm for this, I will be going to the cemetery. Whether it's in jeans and a t-shirt, shirt and a tie, I don't know. But I will be there. Just thought I would post this.

Let's call this cathartic....

When I started going to college, some 13 years ago, it marked what was effectively the start of a long, slow uphill climb for me. At that age, I was nowhere near the sort of person I wanted to be. I was almost painfully shy, was never able to truly stand up for myself (the words just seemed to stop at the back of my throat), I had a poor self image in most areas, and I wasn't able to really let loose and have fun unless I had a few drinks in me (since I hardly ever drank, that was not very often). I won't say where I got these traits or how, but I think most of you can guess.

I had a string of relationships through college which were, shall we say....emotionally trying. It was one particular relationship that started my backbone growing, though. After I'd set him straight in a painful way (for him)... that was where my long, slow, and still-going climb out of that shell I was in got it's beginning. Over the next few years, I had two relationships that not so much tested my reserve as laid me bare so I could rebuild myself in the image of the person I so desperately wanted to be. Though I made the decision to end both of them, it took a few years to heal from these two relationships. In that time I eschewed dating altogether and was, in fact, totally afraid of men.

In some points in my life, I happily received the changes that were happening in my character and in my life, but in other points in my life, the changes were so fundamentally altering that it left me feeling raw and vulnerable and very emotional. That was the feeling of my spine straightening and growing stronger. It was the feeling of the parts of me that were at odds finally meeting and accepting each other. I was left bare so that I could be rebuilt from scratch (or so it seems).

In short, I have come a long way in those 13 or so years. In this last while, I have not had to face it alone, the way it seemed I always had to before. I share myself with someone who both takes me apart and helps put me back together again, stronger. Also, in this last while, things have happened in my life that have reminded me that although I have come far and am getting closer to the "me" I love, I still have a long way to go. My loner-ness is being called into question and, if I don't force myself to be more outgoing, I can lose my job. I am at a healthy size of 5'8" tall and 190 pounds, but my self-image was called in question yesterday when a total stranger on the bus began calling me a fat pig and making oinking sounds. It hurt, no doubt about it.

A very large part of me wonders if I am equipped to make such giant changes in my fundamental personality. I don't know that I am strong enough...but the option is to give up and know defeat. I don't know whether or not this is a testing point, whether or not it's important for me to take it on as a challenge, or move on. Won't I be beaten up equally either way?

I keep telling myself.... I have gotten this far, what's a little further? I am laid bare again, it's seems.

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